After writing this, I now crave Doritos...

As many members of the blogging world seem to be doing lately, I am once again tackling the gym. Due to stress, exams, and overall laziness, the funk class venture trickled down the drain of things-I-really-don't-care-about pretty quickly, even though it was a lot of fun. The gym might be starting that class up again this summer, but I'm scared there will only be five or six people in it. It's a lot easier to gyrate around like an idiot when you can hide in a mass of seventy girls. So funk might be off the list. But, the godforsaken treadmill is still around. I hopped on that one all full of vim and vigor yesterday. Twenty-five minutes and 1.75 miles later, I fell off the back end and hoped no one would step on me while I tried to figure out if my lungs were still attached. But, I will not let the scale at the doctor's office win! I will be back this afternoon! Maybe! If there aren't too many people there! Because people, you have not known insecurity until you have been to a college gym. Not only can the girl next to you run a six-minute mile, she has a 4.0. See? She's studying biochemistry while she's got that machine cranked up to 7 on 4.5 incline. Jesus, some people need to get a life and discover Doritos and cable. And then you get the guys. You know, those guys. The ones with a 100 pound dumbbell in each hand, looking in the mirror to make sure that you see that they have these dumbbells in their hands. And look! They can lift them! Over and over and over! (You can almost here them going, "Hup, ho! Hup, ho," a la Family Guy.) And then they lean on your bicep machine and let you know the wrongness of your form. Hello? Do you see the spaghetti noodles I like to call my biceps? I'm glad I can grip the handles, let alone have proper form. And no, I don't want to meet you later for a protein shake. I have The Amazing Race and Doritos waiting for me at home. It's called having plans. You can't break those. And the best is the crazy religion and philosophy professors in the power yoga class. Holy mother, how the hell do they stick their toe there? And then hold themselves on one arm for 10 minutes. It is beyond me, I tell you.

So, I am off to do battle again. Wish me luck. And send ice. And whiskey. And Doritos!

I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep...

So, yeah, it's finals season, so I'm a little preoccupied right now. Add that to reformatting my hard drive and forgetting that I don't have any of the driver cd's, and you get stress and a 3 week blank spot.
I promise I'll catch up as soon as I can, but I've got exams for the next 2 weeks so don't hold your breath. Send wine and smart thoughts my way, though!

Beeeeep.......

Updates in Bullet Form (because I am lazy)

• I did not get crabs on spring break, I ate them, and they were buttery delicious goodness.
• I aquired my monthly sugar intake through a straw in the form of pina coladas in about four days.
• The kitten is back and has twice since decided to vacate the premises via the window and come trotting back two days later.
  
• She has also taken up biting my toes while I'm asleep to let me know that she's hungry. Her life might end rather abruptly.
• The stress is less, but I have suddenly realized that there are four more weeks in the semester and then I'm a senior in college. What the hell am I supposed to do then? Graduate or some shit like that? Huh? Real world, what?
• My boyfriend turned to me last night and, in all seriousness, asked, "So, have you given any thought to where we're going to live when we're married next year?" (Yes, I like bold and italics. And yes, I might have squealed a little when he said that.)
• I'm in dire need of a puppy, but considering my status with the kitten, it's probably not the best idea right now.
• My hair has been very flat lately, and I'm in angst.
• I have rent, tuition, utilities, phone, credit card, and computer bills all due in the next 8 days. And my brakes are making a funny noise.
• Spring Party is this weekend! Bring on the tiki torches and assorted fruity drinks!

Is there anything else you want to know?

Summer is finally here!!

Yes, you read that right. The daily highs are 80 degrees and holding. We're finally done with the pathetic, gray, cold, damp mush that is known as winter in Mississippi. And, as we all know, Mississippi has about 4 days total of spring. The weather blows straight from freeze warnings (last week) to shorts weather (yesterday, which is good because I'm out of clean pants). Hopefully, there won't be any rogue freezes in May either. I love the South. Screw snow, bring on the humidity!

(Warning: Tangent Ahead!)

It's amazing to me that it is still actually snowing in some places and will continue for at least another month. How can people live with snow on the ground for more than half the year?!? I have seen real snow a total of three times in my entire life, not counting the little piddling two inches we get every three years (and we act like this), and you know what? It's cold. And wet. And you have to pretty much change clothes to get warm. Forget that. I am one of those weird things from the deep South that thrives in 90+ temps and 100% humidity. I can work and play soccer in it without batting an eyelash. Now, to set the record straight, you might not want to smell me afterwards, but it's still not that big a deal. But, please, Yankees should not try this down here. You will pass out. You will get heat stroke. I will have to take your wierd-accented ass to the hospital, and frankly, I'd rather just sit on the porch and drink iced tea with you.

All this said, I am the first person to complain the minute the temperature drops below sixty degrees. I put on three layers the second the thermometer hits 40. The entire state goes insane and closes down completely if there is any ice anywhere in the state. There is one snow plow in Jackson, and the garage doors got frozen shut the last time it was needed. Real smart planning there.

But, yay! It is volleyball and swimsuit season. It's warm enough to sleep with the windows open. Frozen cocktails are in order! Hooray for ass-sweat season!

So, yeah, about that...

You might notice the lack of updates this last week. I swear, there were drunk posts. Then I sobered up and read them and realized they made no sense at all and deleted them. Seriously, the most you could glean out of it was that the Escambia Bay area homeless are really hungry. (Sidenote: New game! Hungry, Hungry Homeless! I am so going to hell.) But it was a mucho relaxing week and I got a tan and crab, so all in all it was a success.

I am now all out of fresh ideas.

My life is so glamorous...

I am now learning the nitrogen recovery rates and pros of using poo as fertilizer. Doesn't that sound fascinating? Am I really sure I want to work in a field where poo is a major topic? Don't you think poo is fascinating?

Well, the kitten hasn't come back yet, but I still hear her jingle and meow every now and again, so I'm leaving out food and something is eating it. Maybe she'll decide I'm not that bad. I mean, how much does an animal hate you if it jumps out a second story window just to get away from you? I've considered getting a ferret as a replacement, but then I realized that would be like a $300 investment, and I'm just not ready to lay that much down for something that might decide it doesn't like me and escape down the sink drain. (Don't worry, I don't have a disposal.)

Oh my gosh, the stress! Three major exams and a major assignment due the day before spring break starts. This is definitely not a recipe for good skin and a relaxed Cheryl. I swear, don't these professors realize that I have to be in a swimsuit next week? Cortisol-related zits and weight gain will not sit well with me.

Speaking of spring break (stream of consciousness, anyone?), does anybody know of fun things to do in Pensacola, Florida besides the beach (and you don't have to be 21 to participate in)? I've never been down there in the free-time, vacation sense, so I'm not really sure what's available in case it rains.

And, hey, the hotel has free wireless, so drunk posts! And hungover posts! And sandy posts! Yay!

*This post was brought to you by boredom, hence the lack of an actual post.